COMING ATTRACTIONS

My ambition is only outweighed by my sloth.

Dear R-O-D reader(s),

I have not forgotten you in this cold, cold off season! Despite the lull of football and basketball shenanigans and actually interesting hockey, The R-O-D remembers you, its fan(s).

I will sloppily try to bring back a few classic crappy sports ideas I have been known for on the interwebs. In addition, I am considering trying to crappily illustrate and write an awful book... like the mock up title page above. 

The projects have already been mentioned but...

1. Mocking College Football

2. NBA Pixies and Prisons (not to be confused with another type of game)

3. R-O-D Mysteries - 4 KYDZ

4. The National Basketball Association 2 - Live Big or Ball Harder with a Vengeance 

5. The Oriole Bird Devoured Soul of the Week
6. Potpurri

I'd expect updates on Tuesday, late Pacific (and maybe Sundays).

Big XII Fails in Effort to Acquire New Member School

A more succinct answer you shan't find!

Unreliable Source (NTAPOAPFTM)

Sources at the local Pigg Stop n' Guzzle Gas-o-Mart were stunned to learn that potential Big XII - 4 + 2 / 3 Carry the 1 member North Carolina Beauty College has formally announced they plan to stay in the Bouffant Athletic and Hairstyling Conference despite the possibility the University of Tejas - Austin City Limits would give them 5 American dollars per season as a membership payment.

"While $5.00 is nothing to sneeze at, we here at the NCBC believe that it is in the best interest of our students, student-athletes and alumni to forego joining the Big XII - 4 + 2 / 3 Carry the 1 conference at this time. Current instability in the landscape of college football makes an immediate change in athletic affiliations at this time," Hair President Phoebe Reichart told reporters in between highlight applications.

When asked to comment on the latest school to spurn the conference, former Big XII - 4 + 2 / 3 Carry the 1 Commissioner Dan Beebe was quoted as saying "Chuck Neinas, don't forget to cup UT's [reference to a part of the male anatomy]; they really like that".

Possible replacements include Vern's School of Air Conditioner Repair and Mrs. Phillips Day Care on the corner of West Abbey and 43rd.