Where in the World is the R-O-D

INACCURATE GLOBE!

The R-O-D has been s-w-a-m-p-e-d thanks to working the evenings on the PT (that's the best coast for you swine on the least). What that means is I miss every single baseball game known to man and I have quite a few hobbies so the R-O-D fell by the wayside. Never fear, gadget fans, the R-O-D is back.

This week featured vomiting and losing to the White Sox, Brad Penny showing he's a dickbag and Jim Leyland thinking: hey, what if we do this instead of that?

Anyhow, free David Purcey... from the Earth and launch him into the sun.

Jhonny Peralta Owns the Twinks.

Supporting Guns and Cloning!

The Tigers trounced the SPPW today thanks to more Peralta antics. Did anyone think Jhonny would be this good when he was acquired? If you said yes you are a filthy, dirty, scum bag liar! Peralta is the best offensive shortstop in the AL this year and that is insane. The + Betemit line up looks, dare I say, good. The Tigers need to address this whole bad bullpen/inconsistent starting pitching. And pray for Chuck Guillen. The Tigers need their Glass Man.

Painted Whores Die Again!

Do not respect this logo, HATE IT!

I hate the Twins. HATE THEM! They lost and the Painted Whores need to rot. I think I got their logo colors wrong but who gives a flying rip? HATE! LOSE AND DIE! 10 in a row, bitches!

Purcey and the Magical Testicle Tree!

Dude, I think you need to see a doctor about all your balls!

One day, David Purcey wanted to get himself some testicles. "My word," said David, "I would love to have some balls!". A mischievous little wish granting creature appeared out of nowhere, looking sort of like a rat with wings, or Nick Punto, those things are interchangible. Anyhow, Purcey got his balls but ended up spilling them everywhere tonight against the Oakland A's. What the hell, dude? 12 balls and 4 strikes? That's awful. That wish thing should have choked you to death for being bad at baseball. We traded a middling midfielder for this garbage? Ah well, I bet he has a good club house personality.

Thanks to Purcey the Tigers ended up losing. Screw you! Also, the Tigers traded for a Kansas City Betemit and Inge was DFA'd. Ta-da!

Now looking to kiss Detroit good-bye!

Tigers Win, Oakland Loses and DANCING!

Dancing machines!

So Victor Martinez, Miguel Cabrera and Carlos Guillen, aka the members of the new Venezuelan Mafia, elected to do something today as the Tigers trounced a tepid Oakland baseball team. The story of the evening was Victory Martinez's dancing feet. Well done, Victor, well done. Also: Ryan Raburn has the sads because he is finally on the bench. If only Brandon "KISSING BANDIT" Inge would go away.

FILLER

NOTHING HERE

I Set This Update for the 18th by Mistake!

A Wizard's Hat!

Today the Tigers staved off a sweep via remembering that scoring runs is not a rude thing for host baseball teams to do. Amazingly, Carlos "Soon to be Back on the DL" Guillen proved that even though he is mostly a cripple, he is still better than Ryan Raburn! No, Ryan, I won't take that back!

Anyhow, work has made the R-O-D less impressive but we will soldier on! Some other team plays the Tigers. Let's hope the striped heroes don't forget to bring their bats!

Hi Kids! Do You Like Losing

0 No!

The Tigers were shut out and Hawk didn't cram it. Seriously, the second half swan song is greatly exaggerated but, Tigers, you don't make it easy to love you. Don't make me watch the M's!

Boo This Man!

Hawk? More like Suwk.

Tigers lose to the giant piles of crap that play in a tiny little breadbox. I hate the All Star Game.

Off Day Again?

JOBA likes this turn of events!

The All Star Break is Awful

No more ASB crap!

BORING

BUT THIS TIME IT COUNTS!

Chris Berman is Annoying.

It's true!

Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh - It's WONDER MAGIC RAINBOW FIRST PLACE!

I couldn't be bothered to draw a bus again!

Today, thanks to Verlanderday Industries, Magglio Ordonez the Tigers have climbed back into first place before the glorious All Star Break.

Sure the Tigers pitching could be more consistent... well except from Justin Verlander. Verlander is the best pitcher in the majors right now. He's a beast that grows stronger with each blazing fast ball and mind bending off speed pitch he tosses.

With Miguel and the Crew, the Tigers look to try and make a second half stand and win the Tigers first division title since 1987. These men are good at baseball, overall.

Traditionally there has been a second half swoon under Leyland but I am hopeful. The R-O-D, for all its bitching, believes.

At the Tone Prepare to Hochevar!

I wonder what I ate that is both olive and regular green with orange bits.

Tonight I probably won't see what the score was but I hate losing to KC. Win, damn it, win!

We're On a Mission from uh, Some Guy

Don Kelly - XING WIZARD redux!

Tigers win, Naughty Logos lose. Looks like we have a Forrest Dirks for lead off sighting on the radar. My work schedule precludes me from watching games so I just have to go on what I read. So far, I like where this is all going! Half a game behind the vile Clevelanders.

By Your Powers Combined...

Who would have thought this would happen?

Today was a wondrous day. Both Don Kelly, ADEQUATE BASEBALL WIZARD and Ryan "Sad Sack" Raburn contributed to a Tigers victory. Phil Coke was good out of the bullpen, Max - AAAAAAAH AAAAAAAH , Savior of the Universe appeared. Overall, nothing else could be asked for from these Tigers. The Naughty Logos still managed to win but as we have seen, they aren't a sure thing.

I can't believe I had the chance to draw this!

Get On Board the Wonder Bus

Mac Tonight approves!

When the Tigers are down and all their fans begin to frown a hero is found. A man named Miguel, whom baseball people say - that man can play baseball very well.

On this night, the 6th of July, did Miguel hit a ball that did fly. Fly far into the California night,ending the Tigers plight of being far behind, and win the Tigers did in kind.

Oh Wonder Bus, what is all the fuss? I hear naysayers shout. What is this nickname all about? I say look to the score - Detroit 5, Anaheim 4.

Umpires at the Apollo

BOO THESE MEN!

So, once again, piles of filth like Joe West and Angel Hernandez decide to make a baseball game about them, ignoring rules and common sense just to act like petulant children. Well, I hate you two. I hope MLB finally starts to fire and/or sanction bulbous sores on its ass like you two sooner rather than later. Hernandez is terrible and Joe West is his ass pimple amigo.

These two must be put out to pasture. Yet, the Tigers main fault was their inability to actually hit (yet again). That's 2 runs in 18 innings. Stop blowing.

More DPs Than an Adult Book Store

The Tigers elected to work out their various digestive problems by unleashing a torrent of excrement on the baseball diamond tonight. Sure the Angels stole a few hits via good glove work but the sheer amount of GIDP that I saw tonight made me feel ill and somewhat aroused.

I'm sorry but, Tigers, you're making me want to strangle things. Stop being bad.

Good Bye Dumb National League!

I never expected this!

Tigers win 6-3; Ryan Raburn makes game saving catch. I have no more words.

A cascade of filth disguised as a baseball game.

Today’s Tigers performance was reminiscent of a slaughter house. The pitchers were swaying on the hooks, drying and with flies scattering when the masked workers would select a slab to carve.

Entrails and the slop of life made moist noises on the floor. I could barely contain my urge to expel everything I have ever eaten and run as far away from that gruesome scene as I could.

But my legs would not work and my eyes would not shut. All I could do is stare, mouth agape and let that putrid stench violate all of my senses.

I Want to Fire the Bullpen Out of a Cannon.

Stop sucking.