A Little Love Can Make the Hardest Things Go Smoothly

Enter the Fist! aka In Fist We Trust! aka FISTING FOR VICTOLY!

Doug Fister is a sentimental favorite of mine from the Seattle Mariners. When I heard that the Tigers had acquired Fister, I was very excited. First off, his last name is Fister! Secondly, Fister works very hard and eats innings. Third: Fister just seems like a necessary cog every winning team needs (workhorse, solid back end of the rotation fella).

The problem with Fister is he rarely had any runs scored for him (I believe somewhere in the range of 2.5 runs a game). Well, fear not, dear Fister! The roaring Tigers army has brought its bats to your party. Fister served in 7 innings and gave Detroit's iffy bullpen some help. How did Doug Fister do this? I have secret inside information on the creature that helped Fister come to Detroit! 

The New GM of the Detroit Tigers!

Clippy is now Doug Fister's bestest friend and Clippy is now 2 for 2 in the advice column!

An Old Friend Helps David Purcey and David Dombrowski

This is a Feature I Believe is Long Overdue in Baseball '11!

Often maligned, much hated and misunderstood, our friend Clippy has found a new job courtesy of David Dombrowski and the Tigers front office. After David Purcey had managed to figure out a way from going from suck to blow and forgetting what a strike was, it became apparent that a solution was needed. Luckily for us all, Clippy had the answer! Now Purcey has been Ctrl + Alt + DFA'd we can all hope for better and brighter days. Have a Mac? I probably hate you.

This Creature Wants to Eat You!

Also: Brennan Boesch, who's scary visage I butchered to the right, hit a game winning home run in the rain or something. Tigers beat Tejas 6-5! Huzzah!

The Worst Named Team in MLB Today Show Grit, Determination and that They and Their Fanbase Should Choke on Their Own Vomit.

Shitty Balll and What Looks Like a Golden Toilet

So there was some hoopla over a bunt, a pitcher who gets annoyed at the slightest possible slight and angry over a giant slight. Chuck Guillen is the biggest murderer since that one guy who killed that other guy and made him an angel (see what I did there).

All insults aside, I decided to get about as dirty as I could because I felt justified because some other jerks on the internet fail to see why everyone was acting like a jackass. Faux racism is cute, but even a 30 second spell check can help.

Let's talk about how horrible the Los Angeles California Anahiem Los Angeles Angels of Anahiem broadcast crew make Hawk Harrelson look impartial. Let's talk about how I hate Disneyland. Let's talk about how awful those blue and gray uniforms were with the winged A. Those things were vomit worthy. All I know is that the 1986 ALCS was pretty funny and both version of Angels in the Outfield were awful.

Angels were all "male" and had no genitals; that tells you something!