Detroit contra Boston - Evil Hosiery Finally Get Their Come Uppance

Don Kelly - CALLED SHOT WIZARD enters baseball's mythical panthenon.

Justin Verlander stepped onto the mound this evening with the Tigers having humiliated themselves against this Red Sox team all season. So what does Justin "Miracle World" Verlander do? He pitches 7.2 innings of shut out baseball.

Verlander, working with a 2-0 lead, threw 7038 pitches while sterilizing Kevin Douchinski, to the relief of the entire world. Yet, there was a more important story to this game. Don Kelly - UPSTAGING WIZARD, went up to the plate with a runner on second and one out in the bottom of the 8th. Kelly stared down the nameless Red Sox sludge abomination and pointed to a spot just beyond the infield dirt; he was calling his shot!

After making such a bold declaration, Kelly sort of made some contact and delivered a single! Miguel scored and the Tigers took a 3-0 lead. Then they won the game! Coincidence? Not likely!

The Tigers are once again .500, so that's something!

Game One: Don Kelly - BRAVERY WIZARD vs. Bloated Two Headed Ugly-Face (Ortiz).

Instead of watching game one of the split double header I chose to sleep. Reading the box score tells me Jose "Mashed Tater" Valverde took the loss. However, since I did not see this game I chose to interpret the grueling and exciting battle between a typical Bad Sox player (aka horrible monster that should be neutered and launched into the sun) and Don Kelly - DIFFERENT WIZARD E'ERYDAY WIZARD.

I think I needed to add more lightning bolts; and by more I mean some.

Detroit vs. Boston aka Noble (but boring) Heroes against Vile, Putrid Jerkfaces.

Tonight, instead of playing baseball (well, more accurately, instead of watching baseball being played on the bench), Don Kelly - SELFISH WIZARD, decided to cause yet another Tigers' game to be postponed.

The reason? He had plans tonight to go to a late showing of Kung-Fu Panda 2. I have it on good authority that Don Kelly - PARTY WIZARD, also has plans for tomorrow: a Roller Pizza Party. I doubt either ball game gets played due to the abuse of wizard powers.