It's a Peperony and Cheasy World!

That bat is the next super pizza mascot!

So, the Son of Cecil is once again the Prince of the Tigers. High price but... that just gives me an excuse to buy more cheap and not great pizza! Hoorj!

The R-O-D approves this chain of events (and wants pizza).

I Only Want to Love (Love is Meant to Beeeeeeee; Unless You're Raburn Then No One But Miguel Olivo Loves You).

He's Not the Fielder We Need, He's the Fielder We Deserve... Wait, what'd we ever do to deserve Reburn?!

Then all the fandom loathed him
As they shouted out with rage
Raburn, the inept fielder
You headed a ball for a homer!

(Like Canseco!)


...and that, folks, is the very first multi-part R-O-D posting. Consider this a special little gift from me to all of you (1 people). Merry 2012 and happy Mayan Death Orgy Day!

'til Eternity! (Heaven Knows He Can't Field for Crap!)

What the heck is that box doing there?!

Then one blistering summer day
Old man Leyland came to say
Raburn with your glove of stone
Won't you play left alone?

(Oh please God, no!)

Man, Donna Summer is Rather Quite Good (and Something About Ryan Raburn part II)

You can laugh at him because his mom said it was okay (she was booing him when he was in the womb)!

Verse 2!

All of the other players
Always laughed and mocked his game
They hoped to never see Raburn
Ever playing in their games

(Like an amputee!)

We're halfway there! Expect more sometime... maybe before 2012! Oh... my... goodness!

Raburn the Inept Fielder (Part One - sung to the tune of Donna Summer's "Heaven Knows" or another song that escapes me at the moment).

A Mid-Summer Night's Waking Up Feeling Cheap in the Morning!

Raburn the inept fielder
Had a very suspect glove
And if he ever used it
You would even say it blows

(Like a lady of the evening!)


----

Greetings R-O-D fan(s)!

I have slacked off and obviously haven't done anything I wrote down on my todo list for 2011. So, anyhow, what else is new? However here is part one of some crap I was inspired to do while listening to the ultimate Christmas soundtrack: The Journey - The Best of Donna Summer.

Really, can you think of a better song to carol or WASL or whatever it is you weirdos do when you basically terrorize neighborhoods with your awful voices than the glorious output of the only Queen of Disco, Donna Summer?

I thought naught. So, yeah, enjoy part 1. Part 2 may make it in 2012!

COMING ATTRACTIONS

My ambition is only outweighed by my sloth.

Dear R-O-D reader(s),

I have not forgotten you in this cold, cold off season! Despite the lull of football and basketball shenanigans and actually interesting hockey, The R-O-D remembers you, its fan(s).

I will sloppily try to bring back a few classic crappy sports ideas I have been known for on the interwebs. In addition, I am considering trying to crappily illustrate and write an awful book... like the mock up title page above. 

The projects have already been mentioned but...

1. Mocking College Football

2. NBA Pixies and Prisons (not to be confused with another type of game)

3. R-O-D Mysteries - 4 KYDZ

4. The National Basketball Association 2 - Live Big or Ball Harder with a Vengeance 

5. The Oriole Bird Devoured Soul of the Week
6. Potpurri

I'd expect updates on Tuesday, late Pacific (and maybe Sundays).

Big XII Fails in Effort to Acquire New Member School

A more succinct answer you shan't find!

Unreliable Source (NTAPOAPFTM)

Sources at the local Pigg Stop n' Guzzle Gas-o-Mart were stunned to learn that potential Big XII - 4 + 2 / 3 Carry the 1 member North Carolina Beauty College has formally announced they plan to stay in the Bouffant Athletic and Hairstyling Conference despite the possibility the University of Tejas - Austin City Limits would give them 5 American dollars per season as a membership payment.

"While $5.00 is nothing to sneeze at, we here at the NCBC believe that it is in the best interest of our students, student-athletes and alumni to forego joining the Big XII - 4 + 2 / 3 Carry the 1 conference at this time. Current instability in the landscape of college football makes an immediate change in athletic affiliations at this time," Hair President Phoebe Reichart told reporters in between highlight applications.

When asked to comment on the latest school to spurn the conference, former Big XII - 4 + 2 / 3 Carry the 1 Commissioner Dan Beebe was quoted as saying "Chuck Neinas, don't forget to cup UT's [reference to a part of the male anatomy]; they really like that".

Possible replacements include Vern's School of Air Conditioner Repair and Mrs. Phillips Day Care on the corner of West Abbey and 43rd.