Whelp, That Series Was Awful.

Rare first edition rookie card of the newest R-O-D sensation - Street Pizza!

The Tigers dropped the 4 game to the Rangers via a horrible call by an umpire. Rather than dwell on this terrible tun of events I am going to show off a rare collector's card of the hottest free agent ever - Street Pizza, dead cat LF extraordinaire!

I expect the Tigers to try to bid for Street Pizza's services but they'd better back up the Brinks if they want this amazing talent!

A Little Love Can Make the Hardest Things Go Smoothly

Enter the Fist! aka In Fist We Trust! aka FISTING FOR VICTOLY!

Doug Fister is a sentimental favorite of mine from the Seattle Mariners. When I heard that the Tigers had acquired Fister, I was very excited. First off, his last name is Fister! Secondly, Fister works very hard and eats innings. Third: Fister just seems like a necessary cog every winning team needs (workhorse, solid back end of the rotation fella).

The problem with Fister is he rarely had any runs scored for him (I believe somewhere in the range of 2.5 runs a game). Well, fear not, dear Fister! The roaring Tigers army has brought its bats to your party. Fister served in 7 innings and gave Detroit's iffy bullpen some help. How did Doug Fister do this? I have secret inside information on the creature that helped Fister come to Detroit! 

The New GM of the Detroit Tigers!

Clippy is now Doug Fister's bestest friend and Clippy is now 2 for 2 in the advice column!

An Old Friend Helps David Purcey and David Dombrowski

This is a Feature I Believe is Long Overdue in Baseball '11!

Often maligned, much hated and misunderstood, our friend Clippy has found a new job courtesy of David Dombrowski and the Tigers front office. After David Purcey had managed to figure out a way from going from suck to blow and forgetting what a strike was, it became apparent that a solution was needed. Luckily for us all, Clippy had the answer! Now Purcey has been Ctrl + Alt + DFA'd we can all hope for better and brighter days. Have a Mac? I probably hate you.

This Creature Wants to Eat You!

Also: Brennan Boesch, who's scary visage I butchered to the right, hit a game winning home run in the rain or something. Tigers beat Tejas 6-5! Huzzah!

ENTER THE ERRANT TOSS WIZARD!

Don Kelly - ERRANT TOSS WIZARD showing off his skillz.

What else can I say but: FIRE EVERYONE! THIS LOSS IS UNACCEPTABLE AND YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES! RWAR! TRADE PHIL COKE FOR ALBERT PUJOLS AND DRIVING LESSONS FROM TONY LARUSSA! TRADE CALE IORG FOR DAVID WRIGHT AND JOSE REYES! COKE TO THE BULLPEN! RABBLE, RABBLE, RABBLE!

...er excuse me; I caught a case of the stupids right there. Phil Coke paid the price for errors, notably: Don Kelly, ERRANT TOSS WIZARD, and his 2 run error in a 4 run inning. 

Enrique Gonzalez, ladies and gents!

Then Enrique "White Flag II" Gonzalez came in and didn't stink as badly as Brad Thomas's right handed Latino doppelganger usually does. The Tigers made it interesting in the 9th with a few more runs but fall to Tejas 7-3. Oh, and Ryan Raburn managed a pinch hit strike out. Consistency!

I would be remiss if I did not remember to award The R-O-D's most coveted (read: only) award: The Blue Plate Special, which is awarded to Excellence in the Field of Excrement. Tonight's award was a close one, with 1 time BPS winner, Ryan Raburn, striking his way out after our second nominee, Don Kelly - AWARD NOMINEE WIZARD, made his strong case in the 3rd and winner is...

The R-O-D BPS!

DON KELLY - BPS EXCELLENCE IN THE FIELD OF EXCREMENT AWARD WINNING WIZARD! Thank you, Don, for helping Phil Coke lose this game! Until next time you cantankerous kitties! Oh, and the score has been corrected. I suddenly thought Detroit scored a 4th run, silly me!

Ranjas Gots To Get Out The Way

Cleveland's naughty logo makes this image a little more awkward! Wizard X-ING!

Detroit continues its road warrior ways by running over the Rangers, again. Instead of drawing a Ranger, I drew a naughty logo. Why? Because Cleveland is feeling the hot, sexy breath of a Tigers team that is starting to remember there is a smattering of talent on the big club.

Rick Porcello pitched well for 5 innings and only gave up 1 in the 6th. Texas is hot so I think Rick lost 87 lbs through sweat tonight. The Tigers put together yet another set of hits and continued their extra base hit streak to every game they've played this season.

Another big piece of news is the Tigers slugged out 20 hits. 20. Holy moly! An 8-1 Tiger win just goes to show you the R-O-D does equal victory.

Maybe later I will draw a windmill to show what I think of Gene Lamont. All Lamont laments aside, the Tigers are 8-2 since the R-O-D came to be. Don't thank me, just believe!

Let's Bunt (Let's Bunt) Future Bunting Game!

13 runs! Goodness!

Everything that could go right for the Tigers did go right... well everything but Max Scherzer. Max has been awful lately but he shouldn't be sent down to Toledo. Really, those who are saying that need to stop having their heads up their butts.

Curiously, Ron Washington and Jim Leyland decided to play human chess tonight. The highlight? Don Kelly - DUTIFUL PLAYER WIZARD being asked to bunt Austin Jackson over to third, with a 4 run lead and zero outs.

Don Kelly - BUNTING WIZARD returns to the R-O-D!

That is the thought that will stay with me about this game. Not Boesch's amazing, 2HR, 5 RBI night. Not Furbush being good yet again. No, a sacrifice bunt. Pretty fly, I say! Oh, and the Tigers are 1.5 games behind the Naughty Logos. Hear those footsteps, suckas? It's time to rumble!