A Second Set of Verbal Victuals

No set schedule means that I will procrastinate, but two out of infinity isn't significant!

Here you go, the Art of a Mistake episode 2: The Art of a Mistake Ep. 2

I swear I won't just talk about video games.

The R-O-D talks about something.

Hello,

I doubt anyone visits here, but today I have started a little audio thing. An audio broadcast recording, or aubrording. Maybe I'll think of a less cumbersome name not enthralled to a certain fruit based tech company's dead portable audio player.

Anyhow, you can listen to it here: The Art of a Mistake

The Return of the Return of the Return of the Return of the Return of the Comeback of the R-O-D

Well now, it's been over a year since this giant ball of crap has rotated the sun and the R-O-D has been dormant.

Why?

Writing about baseball is hard when you don't watch too much (thanks to schedules). Instead of only writing, and drawing crap, about beisbol, the R-O-D is about to try writing about whatever the R-O-D wants.

Will the R-O-D succeed? Probably not. Will the R-O-D ever stop talking about the R-O-D in the third person? Probably not. Will the R-O-D be entertaining? Probably not. Did Easy-E die of complications from AIDS? Probably.

Was it necessary to make that joke? Probably not.

2012 in an MSPaint Nutshell

Those wheels look unsafe at any speed... plus at that angle it looks like this is going to hurt.

So the Tigers managed to get swept by the Royals, sweep the White Sox, and finish up losing 2 out of 3 against the Cleveland Indians. Seriously? I've had random die generators more consistent than this team. Mind you, the Tigers are still in every hunt necessary but watching them find new, exciting (read: not exciting) ways to lose baseball games (offensive lapses in more ways than one) is annoying.

See, I do not like rollercoasters. I am not a big fan of amusement parks or rides or people. All three tend to congregate at those rollercoaster things or you find them in amusement parks and people are something something.

I would genuinely be appreciative if you, Detroit Tigers, would drive a can of corn collectively in the "hearts" (in theory Chi-Sox fans have hearts... in theory) of the White Sox's dreams of playoff promised land. That would make my minute or day or something.

Oh, and thank you for bringing back my two favorite comedians: Don Kelly and Ryan Raburn. This blog would be less interesting without those two (from zero to negative interesting in 2 demotions flat)!

What, me worry?

Now is not the time to let silly things like letting the Royals use your team as a punching bag derail the root-choo train!

The White Sox and Tigers are fighting for first. Let's hope for a Detroit sweep. I don't have anything funny to add.

Off Days Aren't Supposed to Be Tumultuous!

RWAR! Baseball well drawn and crappily drawn hearts with equal glee!

May 3rd could be the last day in Mariano Rivera's storied career. Those that have talked with me know I think closers are unnecessary and, quite frankly, your best reliever should be pitching in your highest leverage situation and not with 0 on in the 9th inning of a game. There are always exceptions to situations and Mariano Rivera is... was, that exception. 

Rivera's cut fastball is devastatingly effective and since he threw it almost exclusively, probably the greatest pitch in baseball history. Well, he just tore his ACL and was considering retirement already. Considering how awful of a knee injury a torn ACL is and his age, Rivera is most likely done forever. Despite hating the New York Yankees, their fan base, the media investment in anything New York, Nick Swisher, the ludicrously short porch in right and anything to do with Jeter, Rivera was ok (if he wasn't shutting the door on your team).

The last active 42 is gone, for 2012 and perhaps ever. Mark Texiera's quote sums up how I feel about baseball: “I told you this game is cruel before the game". Magglio Ordonez knows what it is like to leave on an injury, to relate this to the Tigers. Some struggle through the pain of trying to get near their pre-injury levels, gnashing their teeth and clawing to come close to competing in the apex of their field. All the while whispers of "will they make it" or "what might have been" slip through the lips of everyone - questions that have escaped the minds of those who watch and wonder.

Players do not get to choose when their playing days are over - either management or their bodies make that decision. Baseball is a game centered around failure, centered around waiting and centered around hope. The game of baseball is cruel, teasing you in the spring with promises of blue skied springs, lazy summer days and golden trophies in early fall. Most years the skies are overcast or blistering but bearable because of The Game. When the ticklish fingers of Fall begin to chill our Game leaves. Sometimes I wonder why I put myself through this, year after year. Why do I love The Game so much? Why do I willingly expose myself to an irrational hurt? When my team wins I feel good for a few moments but would not doing some exercise or self improvement provide a more lasting high? 

Why do I do it? Because I have a memory and The Game has a memory. Mariano Rivera, the man, may have been felled but Mariano Rivera the Closer - he will never be touched. The Closer will remain a folk tale that will live on longer than you or I. Just like Magglio Ordonez's home run in Game 4 of the ALDS, the performance of "The Hackman" for the Giants in the NLCS, like Buck Leonard and Bob Gibson.

All things end but sometimes that ending is just a beginning.

Whelp, That Series Was Awful.

Rare first edition rookie card of the newest R-O-D sensation - Street Pizza!

The Tigers dropped the 4 game to the Rangers via a horrible call by an umpire. Rather than dwell on this terrible tun of events I am going to show off a rare collector's card of the hottest free agent ever - Street Pizza, dead cat LF extraordinaire!

I expect the Tigers to try to bid for Street Pizza's services but they'd better back up the Brinks if they want this amazing talent!

A Very Special Episode of The R-O-D

God, it's me, Ryan... God, stop screening my calls... God, stop having dogs pee on me too.

I'm afraid it is that time of year again - when the bats begin to roar to life and the crisp baseballs dance out of said bats' way. The circle of baseball life, if you will.

However, one precocious little 2B... er LF... er baseball player named Ryan Raburn has battled his way to a .073 batting average at the end of regulation play on April 21st, 2012. Let that sink in - Raburn battled to get to .073. His 3 hits in the month of April makes the looming usual Raburn cannot hit to save anyone's life downturn in May all the more ominous. Is there anything that can be done? Is Ryan Raburn a lost cause? Should The Ray Oyler Divide pick a new mascot/whipping boy?

The answers are: Ryan starts very slow, nothing really can be done, Raburn is a fully developed player at this point and expecting any miracle of being a even a quasi starter isn't all that wise, and heck no!

Too bad Street Pizza's agent was such a hard ass.

While I have only seen a few games of the 2012 campaign I can deduce from absolutely nothing (except not being a regular poster at a certain Tigers fan spot that is awful and the butt of a joke) that Raburn will probably show just why the Tigers have stuck with him near the end of May. Raburn is notorious for starting slow and it is frustrating because Raburn can actually hit the ball. Fielding? No, not in a million years. Raburn is a defensive upgrade from Delmon Young in left field but, then again, a dead cat is a defensive upgrade in left field over Delmon Young.

All I am saying is that there really is not much the Tigers can do right now with Raburn. Designating him for assignment means someone else picks him up, and believe me, Raburn's bat is alluring to teams that have putrid offenses (all defensive liabilities aside). Trading Raburn will not bring anything (and why would you trade someone who plays the position you are weak at to upgrade the position you are weak at?) and there are really few better options at 2B or LF (Delmon's bat or Inge's glove and Inge's glove is about as fantastic as Inge's bat at this point in his career).

Overall, there is nothing the Tigers can really do without sacrificing one of their few pieces that are decent in the minor leagues so sit back and image being able to splice Cale Iorg's defense with Raburn's bat... oh man, that'd be fantastic!