The Tragic Tumultuous Times of Ryan Raburn.

Yin and Yang, Good and Evil, Not Good and Not Good, Ryan Raburn and Don Kelly.

Brad Penny had a good game today. Sure he allowed 2 runs, in toto, but that's called a quality start people. The Tigers bats had managed 1 run courtesy of a Jhonny Peralta of the H Clan. Then, then skip realized the error of his ways.

With a crucial at bat coming up (or something), Leyland realized his only hope was magic. While Ryan Raburn sought redemption for being stinky (as usual), Leyland wanted to win the game, for Sparky and because winning is what you're supposed to want to do anyhow. Instead of Reliant K, Ole Jim went with Don Kelly - PINCH HITTING WIZARD. Lo and behold, the Tigers were rewarded.

The above comic tells the story. Tigers win, Wizards win, Raburn loses. 8-3 is the final! Good times.

14 is a Magic Number.

I'd be upset if that last K wasn't so adorable.

When I was a kid I loved the heck out of School House Rock. Learning about the life of a Congressional bill, conjunctions and knife fighting through cartoons and songs. My favorite lesson, though, was how 3 was a number filled with power and blessings from the dark gods.

This seemed to ring true for most of my adult life. Menage-a-trois, triple bacon cheeseburgers, 3 dog nights, 3 card monte, 3 paternity suits, 3 Men and a Baby (and it's obviously awesome sequel: 3 Men and a Little Lady). Each one of those things more magical than a mere 2 or 4. Tonight, I learned something. 14 is the real magic number.

Justin Verlander struck out 14 Snakes and basically treated the Arizona baseball club as if they were his personal punching bag. Nothing more needs to be said about this game. This was Justin Verlander's ball game and we were privileged to get to see him do his thing. Enjoy his career, Tigers fans, JV is the greatest hurler to ever wear an Olde English D.

Oh, and Ryan Raburn still stinks.

Hell... Oh, it is Just Ryan and Ryan!

The Ryans are scary!

Ryan Raburn and Ryan Perry share certain attributes in common. The attributes are being able to suck like Hoovers and being players I just don't like. Sometimes Raburn can hit and sometimes Perry can throw a strike. Usually neither Ryan can do anything right.

The Tigers lose 7-6. Both Ryans had some of the blame for this horrific loss. I, personally, blame James Bach. I don't know a James Bach but it seems like the name of a giant, flaming jackhole. Screw you, James Bach!

Choke on this you schlubs.

To the Ryans, here is your Blue Plate Special award. Raburn leads everyone with, I believe, 3 or 4. He's been god awful. Screw you Raburn!