The Tragic Tumultuous Times of Ryan Raburn.

Yin and Yang, Good and Evil, Not Good and Not Good, Ryan Raburn and Don Kelly.

Brad Penny had a good game today. Sure he allowed 2 runs, in toto, but that's called a quality start people. The Tigers bats had managed 1 run courtesy of a Jhonny Peralta of the H Clan. Then, then skip realized the error of his ways.

With a crucial at bat coming up (or something), Leyland realized his only hope was magic. While Ryan Raburn sought redemption for being stinky (as usual), Leyland wanted to win the game, for Sparky and because winning is what you're supposed to want to do anyhow. Instead of Reliant K, Ole Jim went with Don Kelly - PINCH HITTING WIZARD. Lo and behold, the Tigers were rewarded.

The above comic tells the story. Tigers win, Wizards win, Raburn loses. 8-3 is the final! Good times.

Strutting on the Ritz!

This is what it's like, when Coke cries.

What does Phil Coke gotta do to win a game? Nothing! He's pitched decently more often than not but those terrible, oft striking bats don't like him. They give him No Run Support and those darned Cats with Bats are more like noruns4lyfe rather than Detroit4Lyfe. Sometimes, though, the Roar of the Tigers cannot be stopped and the Tigers can find a way to win 2 to 1 on a walk off extra base hit from Ramon Santiago. Bless You Boys, as Ackerman would say sarcastically.

Coke deserved a win but Joaquin on Sunshine (sunshine is code for crack) decided that was too good of a decision for Phil and sabotaged poor Cokey. Ramon "DAN'JUSS" Santiago said: no, we ain't losing just because our weird 8th inning dude screwed up! I gots you all!

He's a bad mamma jamma!

You don't mess with the Ramon, dig? The R-O-D provides another victory. 11-5, muchachos. Believe, mother hubbards! Still tied for first and them Naughty Logos is coming to town. Dig it!

Oh Joba...

Joba in happier times. (Drawn on 1/10000th scale)

Looks like the Wonderful World of Joba Eats Anything CC Has Leftover in His Jowels is over. Alas, Joba, we hardly knew ye. Please don't eat New Jersey in your grief spiral... wait, on second thought, eat New Jersey and Massachusetts!

Almost Late Night Update!

You lucky duckies up late get a first hand glimpse of what the ROD does when it is late at night and the ROD does not feel like playing video games.

Behold: the Wanker!

Making Tigers fans hate Australia since he threw up and called it baseball.

While "tosser" may seem to be a better nickname for the horribleness that is Brad Thomas, let's be honest - Thomas is a wanker. He's awful and pretty much signals a white flag whenever he comes into a game. You throw Brad Thomas on the mound when you no longer care about life or winning or watching anything resembling baseball. Heck, Brad Thomas is the Tigers way of saying: turn the TV and go do something with your life. I say: fire Brad Thomas... out of a cannon... into the sun! Seriously, Brad Thomas is awful.

I hate that Brad Thomas generally pitches poorly and a passable to just above mediocre performance is considered good for him. Screw that noise! I want the Tigers to succeed and I do not believe they can with Brad Thomas on their staff. Thankfully Thomas is currently on the disabled list. Either way, he's a wanker on the mound!

All Hail the Wonder Bus!

It's like the Venga Bus only it's filled with less creepy old guys falling apart and doesn't head to 6 Flags Over Texas!

Tonight the Tigers scored 2 runs off of a Brennan Boesch home run then decided scoring runs was an unfriendly thing for a group of visitors to do and proceeded to leave people on the lily white bases to ensure that the home town Chicago Worst Sox did not feel bad about themselves.

Meanwhile, Justin Verlander was having none of these Worst Sox. Verlander was mowing down batters like he was a kid on summer vacation trying to get money by mowing lawns for blow or heroin or what ever kids these days are into using money to purchase. Yu-gi-oh? Beyblade? Abortions? Well, anyhow, Verlander made a mistake and some guy in an ugly black uniform who is ugly and from Chicago which has ugly fans hit a 2 run home run out of their bread band box stadium tied up the game in ugly fashion.

The Tigers decided scoring was bad and continued to think Ryan Raburn is worth something by allowing his continued corpse to fester and stink up the line up. When times are rough and The Cleaner (Austin Jackson) hits a lead off triple, leave it to the Tigers to need the Wonder Bus (Miguel Cabrera) to take them on a ride to VICTOLYville (population: zero Hawk Harrelsons). Tigers win 4-2 and this win seemed important, real important. Also: I hate Hawk. Someone shove a can of corn down his beak hole!

Hell is on the right FYI.

US Cellular Field is too small. I drew it to scale but had to make real baseball parks smaller to show just how small it is compared to real parks! 

Off Day Procrastination... er, Productivity: Tiger Nicknames Series Entry One: Ryan Raburn

Striking out on the road, at the plate and everywhere else!

My parents bought a Dodge (Plymouth) K car in the 1980s, when I was in elementary school. I thought the boxy car looked like crap but it had power locks and for a kid like me, those locks were amazing fun.

I later learned the K car series was actually a pile of garbage because they were unreliable and prone to screw up in major ways.

Watching Ryan Raburn brought back memories of the K car and thus, Raburn has been christened, by me, as Reliant K. Helping this nickname out is the fact Raburn strikes out almost as much as Austin Jackson!

Tomorrow the Tigers begin a series against the Chicago Wrong Sox; I hate those guys! Dey stink!