Where in the World is the R-O-D

INACCURATE GLOBE!

The R-O-D has been s-w-a-m-p-e-d thanks to working the evenings on the PT (that's the best coast for you swine on the least). What that means is I miss every single baseball game known to man and I have quite a few hobbies so the R-O-D fell by the wayside. Never fear, gadget fans, the R-O-D is back.

This week featured vomiting and losing to the White Sox, Brad Penny showing he's a dickbag and Jim Leyland thinking: hey, what if we do this instead of that?

Anyhow, free David Purcey... from the Earth and launch him into the sun.

Jhonny Peralta Owns the Twinks.

Supporting Guns and Cloning!

The Tigers trounced the SPPW today thanks to more Peralta antics. Did anyone think Jhonny would be this good when he was acquired? If you said yes you are a filthy, dirty, scum bag liar! Peralta is the best offensive shortstop in the AL this year and that is insane. The + Betemit line up looks, dare I say, good. The Tigers need to address this whole bad bullpen/inconsistent starting pitching. And pray for Chuck Guillen. The Tigers need their Glass Man.

Painted Whores Die Again!

Do not respect this logo, HATE IT!

I hate the Twins. HATE THEM! They lost and the Painted Whores need to rot. I think I got their logo colors wrong but who gives a flying rip? HATE! LOSE AND DIE! 10 in a row, bitches!

Purcey and the Magical Testicle Tree!

Dude, I think you need to see a doctor about all your balls!

One day, David Purcey wanted to get himself some testicles. "My word," said David, "I would love to have some balls!". A mischievous little wish granting creature appeared out of nowhere, looking sort of like a rat with wings, or Nick Punto, those things are interchangible. Anyhow, Purcey got his balls but ended up spilling them everywhere tonight against the Oakland A's. What the hell, dude? 12 balls and 4 strikes? That's awful. That wish thing should have choked you to death for being bad at baseball. We traded a middling midfielder for this garbage? Ah well, I bet he has a good club house personality.

Thanks to Purcey the Tigers ended up losing. Screw you! Also, the Tigers traded for a Kansas City Betemit and Inge was DFA'd. Ta-da!

Now looking to kiss Detroit good-bye!

Tigers Win, Oakland Loses and DANCING!

Dancing machines!

So Victor Martinez, Miguel Cabrera and Carlos Guillen, aka the members of the new Venezuelan Mafia, elected to do something today as the Tigers trounced a tepid Oakland baseball team. The story of the evening was Victory Martinez's dancing feet. Well done, Victor, well done. Also: Ryan Raburn has the sads because he is finally on the bench. If only Brandon "KISSING BANDIT" Inge would go away.

FILLER

NOTHING HERE

I Set This Update for the 18th by Mistake!

A Wizard's Hat!

Today the Tigers staved off a sweep via remembering that scoring runs is not a rude thing for host baseball teams to do. Amazingly, Carlos "Soon to be Back on the DL" Guillen proved that even though he is mostly a cripple, he is still better than Ryan Raburn! No, Ryan, I won't take that back!

Anyhow, work has made the R-O-D less impressive but we will soldier on! Some other team plays the Tigers. Let's hope the striped heroes don't forget to bring their bats!