Off Days Aren't Supposed to Be Tumultuous!

RWAR! Baseball well drawn and crappily drawn hearts with equal glee!

May 3rd could be the last day in Mariano Rivera's storied career. Those that have talked with me know I think closers are unnecessary and, quite frankly, your best reliever should be pitching in your highest leverage situation and not with 0 on in the 9th inning of a game. There are always exceptions to situations and Mariano Rivera is... was, that exception. 

Rivera's cut fastball is devastatingly effective and since he threw it almost exclusively, probably the greatest pitch in baseball history. Well, he just tore his ACL and was considering retirement already. Considering how awful of a knee injury a torn ACL is and his age, Rivera is most likely done forever. Despite hating the New York Yankees, their fan base, the media investment in anything New York, Nick Swisher, the ludicrously short porch in right and anything to do with Jeter, Rivera was ok (if he wasn't shutting the door on your team).

The last active 42 is gone, for 2012 and perhaps ever. Mark Texiera's quote sums up how I feel about baseball: “I told you this game is cruel before the game". Magglio Ordonez knows what it is like to leave on an injury, to relate this to the Tigers. Some struggle through the pain of trying to get near their pre-injury levels, gnashing their teeth and clawing to come close to competing in the apex of their field. All the while whispers of "will they make it" or "what might have been" slip through the lips of everyone - questions that have escaped the minds of those who watch and wonder.

Players do not get to choose when their playing days are over - either management or their bodies make that decision. Baseball is a game centered around failure, centered around waiting and centered around hope. The game of baseball is cruel, teasing you in the spring with promises of blue skied springs, lazy summer days and golden trophies in early fall. Most years the skies are overcast or blistering but bearable because of The Game. When the ticklish fingers of Fall begin to chill our Game leaves. Sometimes I wonder why I put myself through this, year after year. Why do I love The Game so much? Why do I willingly expose myself to an irrational hurt? When my team wins I feel good for a few moments but would not doing some exercise or self improvement provide a more lasting high? 

Why do I do it? Because I have a memory and The Game has a memory. Mariano Rivera, the man, may have been felled but Mariano Rivera the Closer - he will never be touched. The Closer will remain a folk tale that will live on longer than you or I. Just like Magglio Ordonez's home run in Game 4 of the ALDS, the performance of "The Hackman" for the Giants in the NLCS, like Buck Leonard and Bob Gibson.

All things end but sometimes that ending is just a beginning.

I Hear New York Holds is All the Rage!

BASEBALL NO LIKE TIGERS! TIGERS SMELL LIKE DESPAIR!

Today looked like a day where the Tigers may find a way to overcome adversity, their slumping bats and their off field turmoil. Against the Yankees, in New York, the Tigers looked to like a team that was going to win in spite of themselves.

Of course this is not a movie and everything went to utter shit.

Don Kelly made an error and run 5 scored because of said error. Benoit still can't shut down folks in the 8th inning and Brayan Villareal then elected to throw a ball that Alex Avila let go, bringing in the winning run. Sure, Verlander allowed two home runs and 5 runs scored (4 earned).

Still, the lead should have held up. Instead the Tigers end up with their 5th straight loss and have lost 7 out of their last 8. Additionally Delmon Young says something stupid and gets an assault charge, Brandon Inge is released and the fan base is in a tizzy.

What can be done? Nothing - things have to right themselves. Eldred had a decent night for a call up and, well, there were hits. Sure, runners were stranded but the Tigers were hitting. I want to wring my hands and get really frustrated but there comes a point where you just have to say maalesh - it's nothing, it doesn't matter. Why would I tell you to say this arabic word? Because this blip does not matter in the grand scheme of the season or the grand scheme of anything - this is just turmoil. Every endeavor has something like this and the less panic that happens the better.

The Tigers are a talented ball club and will come around or make moves that can help should they be called for considering the circumstances. Fister will return, our 5th starter will be a 5th starter, Don Kelly will still be a Wizard and the Wonderbus & Thunderbus will rumble down the interstate striking fear in the hearts of opposing pitchers. The Tigers are a good team and even good teams have downs during a baseball season. 162 games has a way of evening most things out. That evening out is why good teams win close to 90 games and great teams close in on 100.

I'd like to end this entry with one thing: thank you Brandon Inge for your years of community service and adorkable antics.

The Hot, Sexy Kissing Booth - signing off.

3... er 4 Updates in a Month & The Mariners Come to Detroit

That thing is pretty darn deep!

Loyal R-O-D reader(s) - the next opponent for our beloved Tigers are none other than those swinging Mariners of Seattle. Don't be fooled by the fact Miguel Olivo and Chone Figgins are not good. Also, ignore Brendan Ryan - he's worth about 1.8 Wilsons so he's not that good either. Um...

Lemme think...

Uh...

The Tigers offense is not exactly lighting the world on fire and the Mariners offense is not exactly breathing too well on its own. There are all sorts of numbers one can look at to determine what could be going on but numbers and I, we are not friends. Numbers is my bookie.

The Mariners are still in a rebuilding phase, hoping Justin Smoak, Dustin Ackley and Jesus Montero can be the new Three Amigos while the Tigers are in WIN NOW mode. If I had to give some predictions I would say the Tigers should take 2 out of 3 from the M's (especially if Knock Out Noesi pitches (he is called Knock Out because he always seems to knock out walks, home runs and sucktacular pitching efforts)).

However, the Tigers may lose the series if their bats elect to find everywhere but places where fielders are not stationed. Perhaps home plate will be lonely this entire series, with only a few catchers to chat up and no one coming to visit.

Oh, and while this place is named after a more Tigers-centric phrase meaning "hit under .200" with the way Ryan Raburn tends to hit early in the season I have (since 2011) christened the Ryan Raburn Ravine for those folks who cannot manage to hit a robust .100 - you can thank me later.

Whelp, That Series Was Awful.

Rare first edition rookie card of the newest R-O-D sensation - Street Pizza!

The Tigers dropped the 4 game to the Rangers via a horrible call by an umpire. Rather than dwell on this terrible tun of events I am going to show off a rare collector's card of the hottest free agent ever - Street Pizza, dead cat LF extraordinaire!

I expect the Tigers to try to bid for Street Pizza's services but they'd better back up the Brinks if they want this amazing talent!

A Very Special Episode of The R-O-D

God, it's me, Ryan... God, stop screening my calls... God, stop having dogs pee on me too.

I'm afraid it is that time of year again - when the bats begin to roar to life and the crisp baseballs dance out of said bats' way. The circle of baseball life, if you will.

However, one precocious little 2B... er LF... er baseball player named Ryan Raburn has battled his way to a .073 batting average at the end of regulation play on April 21st, 2012. Let that sink in - Raburn battled to get to .073. His 3 hits in the month of April makes the looming usual Raburn cannot hit to save anyone's life downturn in May all the more ominous. Is there anything that can be done? Is Ryan Raburn a lost cause? Should The Ray Oyler Divide pick a new mascot/whipping boy?

The answers are: Ryan starts very slow, nothing really can be done, Raburn is a fully developed player at this point and expecting any miracle of being a even a quasi starter isn't all that wise, and heck no!

Too bad Street Pizza's agent was such a hard ass.

While I have only seen a few games of the 2012 campaign I can deduce from absolutely nothing (except not being a regular poster at a certain Tigers fan spot that is awful and the butt of a joke) that Raburn will probably show just why the Tigers have stuck with him near the end of May. Raburn is notorious for starting slow and it is frustrating because Raburn can actually hit the ball. Fielding? No, not in a million years. Raburn is a defensive upgrade from Delmon Young in left field but, then again, a dead cat is a defensive upgrade in left field over Delmon Young.

All I am saying is that there really is not much the Tigers can do right now with Raburn. Designating him for assignment means someone else picks him up, and believe me, Raburn's bat is alluring to teams that have putrid offenses (all defensive liabilities aside). Trading Raburn will not bring anything (and why would you trade someone who plays the position you are weak at to upgrade the position you are weak at?) and there are really few better options at 2B or LF (Delmon's bat or Inge's glove and Inge's glove is about as fantastic as Inge's bat at this point in his career).

Overall, there is nothing the Tigers can really do without sacrificing one of their few pieces that are decent in the minor leagues so sit back and image being able to splice Cale Iorg's defense with Raburn's bat... oh man, that'd be fantastic!

The Return of the Return of The R-O-D!

A tragedy in several terrible, atrocious acts (of "hitting").

The rumors of the R-O-D's demise were almost entirely accurate. Currently the Boys with the Olde English D are sucking wind in Chicago. However, Ryan Raburn (The R-O-D's new spirit animal) has realized that Spring Training is baseball and knows that he sucks at baseball.

Currently, in the 5th the Tigers lead 2-0... they'd better win with or without Le Raburn!

Spring Training is Cool and All...

...but the only thing I can think of is how to get Dmitri and Delmon Young Froot by the Foot.